Now It Is Your Turn

One thing you need to know about me is that I love seeing people working things out. I love it when I can see their face trying to analyse a situation and it is even better if I can see the end result.

That is why I love this video of the drummer Chad Smith (from Red Hot Chili Peppers) spontaneously producing a drumming masterclass! The premise is that they remove the drummer from a track and they have to create the beat underneath. And the result? It is incredible, it is even more complex than the original drum beat.

Watch it here. I could watch it on repeat!

But the thing that I love about it is that Chad had the opportunity to create from scratch - he did not know the song and he did not know what the expected rhythm was. Instead he listened to the music, felt something and went with it.

Chad was given the gift of a blank canvas and most importantly, permission. He was encouraged to be him in that space and bring what only he could bring. Yet when we walk into spaces where there is neither a blank canvas nor permission given, it can feel like we are walking along a tightrope - balancing between the expectations on us and the control that is placed on what we can do.

That is the point that I want to share with you today.

You bring something to a space that no-one else does and yet, so often, we compare and we try and be another version of ourselves. But all that is based on what we do when we enter a space, a job or a friendship group - we assess the situation and we compare ourselves to what is there and what happened before.

Why is it that we do that? Why do we assume that people don’t want us and what we bring?!

Perhaps it is in the environment. If you are a part of a team or an organisation, be aware of what the people around you are like. Look around and be curious about what you see - are all the people starting to dress the same? Are they all agreeing and nodding in meetings? Are people using the same phrases? If that is the case, what is happening is people are assimilating, whether consciously or not, the culture is communicating that being similar is best.

This can happen without any effort at all and yet it can speak volumes.

But what it creates is lack of creativity, lack of passion and lack of difference. Beige, beige, beige. Mediocre assimilation.

And what is the solution?! It is being able to notice and celebrate what makes people different. This isn’t something that is cheesy or quaint but it holds real life. It feels like life because the feeling when you are seen is like you are no longer holding your breath. You can literally, and often physically, breathe. You may be familiar with this often referred to as psychological safety.

Noticing and celebrating people around you is key. Celebration that is genuine is specific. It names what you have actually seen in that person. It is personal and it brings out who that person is rather than what they have done. Whilst it can and should be public so that others can see what is valued, it cannot be for the benefit of the person giving the celebration. The moment it becomes about the giver, it loses its gift. Genuine celebration is for the one being seen.

If this does not come natural to you, I would encourage you to consider what it is about this difference that threatens you or makes you fearful. It is usual that we are uneasy about others that think differently to us because they are just that, different. We forget that whilst we are different to each other, we are more similar than we know.

When celebration is genuine, it enables a person to see that who they are is what is important in that space, which frees them to show up fully and make decisions that are uniquely theirs.

So what would you do at work or with those you love, if you knew you had no-one to live up to or no-one’s shoes to fill? What difference would it make to how you acted or what you brought to spaces if you knew that you could just be you?

Perhaps you would realise that the rhythm that you bring is intricate, it is unique and it creates a song - an environment - that would not be that way if you were not there.

That feeling when there is full permission can be felt in our bodies. It can feel like an excitement in your stomach - like a hive of bees - the buzz if you like! I can see it visually like lighting a match, the spark that could start something big and powerful.

But it isn’t just for you. When you give people permission and a blank canvas, the spark starts in them and what you create in your business, charity, church or family is a firework display. Nothing small and subtle about that! Fireworks of creativity, beauty and excitement.

So go on… now it is your turn!