To Fight or Not To Fight

Sometimes I wonder whether I should keep fighting. Is it all really worth it? Am I naive to think that someone like me can make a change?

I don’t have a high-paid job. I don’t have any social equity. I am a Black woman - research shows that this combination means that I will be less likely to be heard. Being Black and female means that even if I do continue to fight, I will have to fight a whole bunch just to get in a room where white males sit and make decisions. I am exhausted just thinking about it.

The constant need to be alert, to look around and to predict the next need.

But the other option is that I sit back and do nothing. To see what I see and not do anything. That is not an option for me.

It isn’t that I am brave or strong. It is that there is no other option. It is the way I was made, I believe the way that God made me. A gift that makes me who I am, not for my benefit but for others.

I see power being held onto by those who can only see the view ahead of them. The power they hold helps them in their context and gives them the illusion of position and esteem. The structures around them support this and keeps them there.

If you are in a room with others and you can speak without fear, you can hold court without being challenged and you can persuade others to agree with you - you are powerful. With that power comes the unconscious ability to quieten those without it. The ability to crush spirits without even knowing you are doing it.

I have been in meetings where the picture goes something like this. There are people gathered to talk about one thing - 30 minutes has been allocated because the person leading the meeting is ‘a very busy person’. That one person - let’s be more specific - that one man arrives slightly late, then starts talking about his vision and his plan for 15 minutes. Half the time has gone. Then he asks if anyone has questions - the fastest one out of the gate wins the chance to speak. Usually an ally to that person , most likely another white male. They speak similarly to the man in charge and flatter, affirm and confidently state a path forward. The time together is finished and the decision has been made.

Because when power is held onto, those without it are quietened and their spirits are crushed. Their voices become unable to speak or shape the culture they exist within.

If you are a person who feels crushed, someone who feels like they are silenced or someone who feels like they have no personal agency, you matter. Even if your voice is not heard, we still need to hear what you have to say. Even if you cannot affect change where you are, God is with you and he fights for justice. Even when you think you are alone, you are not. You are surrounded by unseen women and men who are fighting where they are - they are making progress because truth is of God and truth brings life, whether we see it or not.

But if you are that man in the room — consider this instead. What if you arrived, apologised for being late, and said “I have a vision but I want to know what you think. I’ll share briefly and then I want to hear from each of you. You can share or pass, no pressure. If you’d rather process first, send me an email this week”. Then what if you actually listened. Every look towards a person in that room, though a small action, allows them to be seen, heard and acknowledged. The shift of focus indicates a sharing of power. You are giving up control of the situation.

This isn’t just a nice thing to do. You have to actually care about the opinions of others and take them into consideration. This is not a one-man show. Or at least it shouldn’t be.

You have the choice - and it is a choice - to create a different possibility. It won’t happen by accident but it requires a change. It will cost you your control, but that in itself is a tiring thing to hold onto right? But the life you will bring, the fullness of life to another, that is definitely worth fighting for.

Fighting for me looks like writing, typing the words that can help. It looks like being in places that I have access to and using my voice and my face to make space for others.

Fighting looks like grieving for a world that currently exists and reminding others of what is possible.

Fighting is asking God to continue to give me prophetic imagination, to see what he sees and to play my part with him. It isn’t just me fighting alone. God cares about this.

Canary & Cat exists for this work. If you are in a position to shape culture in a church or organisation, get in touch to find out how we can help. [canaryandcat.com]

If you are a human who wants help to keep fighting, write me a message. I would love to hear from you!