What do you mean?
I felt it today, a moment when I actively had to choose to be curious. It was a struggle and being aware of it allowed me to see what was really going on.
I was getting frustrated whilst talking that the other person wasn’t understanding what I was saying. I could feel the frustration in my body, the annoyance creeping into my voice and the way I was standing.
But then I checked myself. I was reminded of the blog post I put up only a week ago about being curious. (How frustrating!)
The choice was easy (but not obvious). I could use my clever phrases, tone of voice and even my body language to boldly claim and state what I was saying. Instead, I paused, took a breath and asked the question - what do you mean?
It struck me that by not fighting my point, I felt like I had given up my confidence. I gave the person the chance to share but it was a risk because what if the other person was still wrong?! Being curious causes us to lay down our ego and power and to allow the other person to speak.
Being curious felt like I was being vulnerable. I didn’t feel like I was in-charge, I couldn’t have control of the conversation because I had literally just handed control over to the other person!
I could see into the world of the person I was talking to. I was drawn into their world and I enjoyed it! The focus wasn’t on me and I felt like I was less stressed trying to hold everything together because I wasn’t holding anything at all. I forgot the point I had to prove and instead saw the other person.
OK.. the challenge is here.. you knew there would be one! We have all been in those moments, daily in fact, especially if you have a partner or a child!!
My challenge to you today is to stop, take a breath and pause when you are in that moment when you are ready to fight and prove your point. It will hurt, it will not be as satisfying (initially) as you would want but it will be worth it! It will give the other person value, it will allow them to have their voice heard (which if they are a child will be so honouring) and it will mean you can have a little mental rest too!!
Do you accept the challenge?! Ask the question… what do you mean? Or tell me more? Or I don’t really understand, can you help me?!
Let me know how it goes in the comments below… go on… I am nosey, I want to know!!